[Mind] Games
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Addiction: 

–noun
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
Addiction is a mind game in that it controls what we do. It is capable of manipulating us into doings things, without control. We become so addicted to these substances that we don't want to do anything. Our brain plays a game with us and tells us that this is the only thing we need. 

When do we know that we are becoming addicted?

"When a single behavior starts to transform business-as-usual into out-of-service. If somebody isn't eating, isn't going to work, and they've been so hooked to [the behavior] that they've let the cat die...." - Neils Clark and P. Shavaun Scott
"When it's all you can think about" - T. Schwalm 

In other words, when people stop working the way they usually do and shut themselves away from everyone in order to continue doing what they have decided they love doing, they are becoming addicted to that activity or substance. 

Signs you are becoming addicted include:
  1. Questioning. When we begin to question what we're are doing, or why we're doing it, this could be a sign that there is a problem. 

  2. Defensiveness. If other people ask you about your habit and you feel the need to defend it, this could be another sign of the problem.

  3. Blaming. Addicts don't like to put the responsibility on themselves. No, it's not their fault; it's someone else's. 

  4. Secrets and lies. They believe that their addiction is a secret, and that all the lies they told are helping them cover their habit. 

  5. Time and effort. These people need to take time to think of a cover story to tell others, actually act on their behavior, and eventually try to stop their behavior. They need to put in the effort to come up with the story; the effort they could be using to help better their lives. 

  6. Guilt and shame. Your conscience should help you realize what's right and what's wrong. If you're feeling guilt and shame, and yet you can't stop the behavior, you're most likely addicted. 

  7. Isolation. You believe that you're different than others in the sense that you can successfully continue your behavior without having problems, even if others have had problems that came along with the behavior. Sometimes, you may convince yourself that you are unloved and misunderstood. By doing this, you go back to the addictive behavior, your new savior. 

What are the common traits of an addict?

  1. immature personality: typically, people with immature personalities act on impulsive behaviors, without thinking about the consequences
    - there is also a need for instant gratification for wants and needs 
    - want to be the center of attention
    - living for today without thinking of the consequences of tomorrow 
  2. anti-social personality: feeling that no one understands
  3. passive-aggressive personality: behavior as a way to cope with anger 
  4. anxious or stressed personality: stress from pressure; behavior as a coping method 
  5. self-penalizing personality: these people see themselves as so imperfect and criticize their every action that they resort to addictive behaviors  

Questions to ask

Dr. Stacey Soeldner believes that these questions can help you determine if someone in your life, including yourself, is addicted to games:

1 - Do you or a loved one consistently play video games to the point of exhaustion? 

2 - Do you or a loved one have an inability to stop or cut down playing video games once you have started, despite wanting to? 

3 - Do you or a loved one have negative consequences arise due to continuous play? 

4 - Do you or a loved one deny that playing the video games are a problem despite feedback from a spouse, relative, friend or employer? 

5 - Do you or a loved one continue playing the video game despite experiencing persistent or recurring, vocational, social or relationship problems that are directly caused by the playing of the video game? (For example, being tired at work, being late for work or not engaging in social activities.) 

6 - Do you or a loved one have a need to play the video game more to get the same effect as when you began playing? 

7 - Do you or a loved one suspend important social, recreational or occupational activities because they interfere with playing the video game? (For example, calling in sick for work or skipping your son's soccer game.)

How to Overcome Addiction 

There are many types of addictions and most of them can be treated the same way. The first step to overcome addiction is always admitting that there is a problem and be willing and open to change. As a person begins the road to recovery it is necessary to remain open-minded and be willing to get rid of all prejudices. The next step depends on what type of addiction you have and what best suits you. Possible options include:

  • Joining a new community- Joining a new club, sports team, or other kinds of community will help you make new friends and start a new chapter of your life in which addiction is not a part.
  • 12 step program- Joining a program with other people who have gone through the same addiction as you have can be really helpful. Use of a set of guiding principles for recovery.
  • Find the courage to determine what you're not getting- For many people addiction is a way to serve a need

When getting rid of a bad behavior, it is necessary to replace it with something positive that will make you stronger instead of weaker. It is important for the individual to work on identifying positive behaviors that will take the place of the addiction
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What makes video games appealing?

  1. THE HIGH SCORE
    As humans, we will be competitive with others, and even ourselves. We have always had that competitive drive. Kings of countries often compared themselves and what they had with other kings. We need to have what others have, or more. In video games, we have the chance to compare what our score is with others and with our past scores. We always want to beat the previous high scores and be the current best. 

  2. CONQUERING THE GAME
    Continuing on in any given game, we may get rewards like "leveling up" or getting a clue as to how to beat the next part of the game. This thrill and excitement, from the dopamine that is released in our brain, urges us to keep going further into the game

  3. AN ESCAPE AWAY FROM THE REAL WORLD 
    In RPG (role playing games), we are able to be someone else for a little while. Who wouldn't want an escape from reality where you can be someone else, even for just a little bit? Players grow an attachment to their little alter-ego that makes them want to continue playing. 

    "For me, playing computer games is almost meditative... I don't think of bills, work or stressful things" - Max Meyer
    When we play games, we throw ourselves into that alternate reality world and ignore the real world. Who would want to be in the real world filled with stresses and problems that could go unsolved, when they could be in a fake world where they know there is a definite way to fix every problem.

    In this emergence into a "fake world", we can be what we see on TV and read in books. What's more exciting? Watching a car chase being reported on TV, reading about a car chase, or being that car going 160 mph in a game? We experience the excitement and adrenaline rush of being that driver speeding away, but we don't have to break any laws or risk our safety in doing so. With TV, film, and books, we can imagine experiences in our head. With games, though, we can live that experience and see what it would be like to be in a position we would never be in in real life. 

    Even if it's not as exciting as speeding away in a car, there's something about playing a game that is more interesting and fun than watching it. Watching a chess match isn't as enjoyable as playing the actually game of chess. It's more fun because we get to make the choices and decisions. We control the every move of the pieces. When we play these games, it may be to our advantage, because we can learn to make good decisions. 

  4. DISCOVERY
    When we know that we can keep looking around in this fantasy world and finding new worlds or places to play in, we want to keep searching. It's exciting to discover something new, even if we know it doesn't really exist. This is one of the hooks of the game "World of Warcraft", where the player and his/her character searches through this fantasy world for new places.  

  5. RELATIONSHIPS
    Online games allow players to meet new people. If this is the only place they are appreciated and understood, this will make them want to continue to play with these "friends".
    In addition to new players, it is possible for people to be able to communicate with friends they can't meet up with and play their favorite game together. On most all games, there is a way to communicate to the other players and talk. In this way, if the player had friends in other countries, they could still play together. 

  6. STORY-LINE
    To players that play their favorite game over and over again, it's like reliving their favorite story over and over again, but they're the main character. Who wouldn't want to continue to relive their favorite happenings repeatedly? We often wish that we could get another chance to experience everything that happened in our favorite day. With games, we get this chance in an alternate reality. 

  7. ILLUSION OF REALITY
    We're emerged into this fake world and all of our achievements in that world seem real. The sense of pleasure and fulfillment we get from gaining these rewards pushes us to move forward in games. Though this fake world seems like an illusion to people who aren't immersed in the game, players don't see this escape from reality as an illusion. It's all real to them; their achievements come with a sense of accomplishment. 

Effects of Video Games on a Relationship 

Recent studies have found that excessive video game playing is linked to poor relationships with others. One of the researchers conducting the study, Laura Walker, explains that, "It may be that young adults remove themselves from important social settings to play video games, or that people who already struggle with relationships are trying to find other ways to spend their time. My guess is that it’s some of both and becomes circular.” It has also been found that those that play games everyday have also been more likely to engage in risky behaviors. Those that played everyday smoked pot twice to three times as often as those that don't play as much. In this study, the girls that played games had low self-esteem. 

In order to try to fix these problems, some suggestions include:
  • engage in other activities you enjoy
  • play games with others (ie. make a game night with others)
  • make relationships a priority in your life
  • play games at a time when it is not interfering with spending time with others you care about