Reasons people lie
1) To gain advantage over their opponent. Lying is a convenient way to achieve this. Even if a person is not confident, they can make themselves seem like they are so that the opponent doesn't see them as weak. Most people believe that lying to others is a good way to protect their own self worth. Jennifer Argo of the University of Alberta said "Self-esteem and threats to our sense of self are also drivers when it comes to lying to co-workers, rather than strangers." In other words, we are more likely to lie and boost our image to someone we are in competition with, like a coworker, rather than someone we have no affiliation with, like a stranger. Careful though, this method of gaining advantage by lying is likely to backfire.
2) For the benefit of those around them. Lying can be used for selfless reasons as well. While there are those lie to boost their image, others lie in order to not hurt the people they care about. It has been proven that women are the ones who usually lie to make other people feel better. Men on the other hand are more likely to lie to make themselves look better. (This male vs. female statistic is of course not true in every case.)In some situations, it is less hurtful for you to tell a white lie than to humiliate a friend or family member. Small fibs like this can save delicate egos. In this way, lying can preserve fragile relationships. [Scroll down & Read the Pros and Cons of Lying]
3) To preserve hope. In some cases, doctors are not always entirely truthful to their patients. According to them, this is for their own health. For example, an article stated that there was one doctor who told her depressed patient that he had a 50/50 chance of long term recovery. However, she was almost certain that he only had about 6 months left to live. Her actions may not be morally correct, but she did that man a favor by improving his quality of life. The quality of life is defined by researchers at the University of Toronto as: “The degree to which a person enjoys the important possibilities of his or her life”. Had the doctor told her patient that he had no chance, he probably would have died sooner and without any hope of ever getting better. He would see no point in trying to stay alive. The thread of hope given to him by the doctor was enough to improve his quality of life in his last moments.
2) For the benefit of those around them. Lying can be used for selfless reasons as well. While there are those lie to boost their image, others lie in order to not hurt the people they care about. It has been proven that women are the ones who usually lie to make other people feel better. Men on the other hand are more likely to lie to make themselves look better. (This male vs. female statistic is of course not true in every case.)In some situations, it is less hurtful for you to tell a white lie than to humiliate a friend or family member. Small fibs like this can save delicate egos. In this way, lying can preserve fragile relationships. [Scroll down & Read the Pros and Cons of Lying]
3) To preserve hope. In some cases, doctors are not always entirely truthful to their patients. According to them, this is for their own health. For example, an article stated that there was one doctor who told her depressed patient that he had a 50/50 chance of long term recovery. However, she was almost certain that he only had about 6 months left to live. Her actions may not be morally correct, but she did that man a favor by improving his quality of life. The quality of life is defined by researchers at the University of Toronto as: “The degree to which a person enjoys the important possibilities of his or her life”. Had the doctor told her patient that he had no chance, he probably would have died sooner and without any hope of ever getting better. He would see no point in trying to stay alive. The thread of hope given to him by the doctor was enough to improve his quality of life in his last moments.
We asked Schwalm why he thought people manipulated and deceived in relationships
